Tuesday, May 06, 2008 Y
I don't understand why, sometimes I just feel so weak, sometimes I just wish to cry, and sometimes I wish to die. I don't understand why...I seriously don't. Is it because I am losing to the stress thats engulfing me? Is it because my mind is too negative? Or is it because I just want to give up? I want to change, I really want. I don't wish to waste my time, the time where its granted for me into this world. I want to prove to others, about my existence in this world. I am not invisible, nor am I deaf. I can hear those mutterings about me, I can see those eyes you guys gave. Its not like I am 100% stupid or what, but its just that I rather not understand too much. Do you know that its very hurtful to see someone else with those disapproving eyes? Do you know you could hurt the person's confidence when they hear what you had been talking about them behind their back? It really hurts, and its not something that could be healed so easily. I rather choose not to understand all these, but its just too obvious. If life is just like that, I should say, I had got use to it. For since the very beginning of my life, I had been facing it every single day...
Tiring day, it seems to never end. But I have to get use to it, since the 'O's will be worse. Teacher is a killer, sending us to die another time after the Chinese 'O' level paper. Will I score well? I don't know. Seeing how others awake from their dreams, I wonder when will it be my turn, to leave this world of dream...
I think I ought to make another rule for myself, to make myself stronger to face the world, to hold on for the future. 'Don't think about the end just yet, think about the path you are going to take till the end.'
and I miss you already
7:50 PM
Macbook Pro(13 inch)
That Headset