Don't really know what is happening to me today, or maybe now. Feel so stressed up all of a sudden, then there's still so much homework left for me to do. I seriously don't know what I should do now. I feel like, everybody is like forcing me, forcing me to listen to them and follow their method of living, its so stressing me up. I really don't know what I should do now, I don't know what my future really holds, I don't know what my aim in life is. Its like everything that lies ahead of me is being covered in darkness, so dark that its captivating me in it, slowly, bit by bit, suffocating me, reducing my consciousness, numbing my senses, and leading me towards the road of despair. Its a torture, really, a torture. Everyone has their problems, I am willing to listen to them pouring out their problems, helping them solve it, share it so that they won't feel alone, so that they won't be like me. I had already forgotten how it feels like to be a normal person, who will have feelings, who will have attitude towards those that they don't like, who will seek another way out of the trouble their facing. I can't do any of these, I just can't. Even my parents can do that, adults can do it, others can do it, but I just can't. I can comfort others, I can help others, but I can't help myself, even though I know what am I facing and how can I resolve it. Its a torment, a horrible thing, so horrible that I think I am going to lose, lose to the struggle that I can win. There's no one I can trust, because I have been hurt real badly, even by my own parents. They may not know it, but they hurt me a lot, a lot. I want to cry out, my eyes, my mind and my body tells me that, but my heart just won't agree. I think I already forgotten how to cry, how to cry for a long time, how to ignore people that I hate, how to face them with attitude, how to win my own battle against life. I'm really tired, really, yet I can't show them out. Cause if I did, parents would ask me why, friends would ask me to share what happened and maybe, try and counsel me. But it won't work, no use, for my heart is already dead, for a long time. Maybe it starts when I was in Primary 3, when I first felt betrayed, alone. Its really a torture, it hurts so much that I lost memories, completely. If you ask me what happened in my childhood days, I can tell you that, do I even have a childhood? If I has, can you help me find out? That will truly be my answer. The memories I have now, are all just bitter memories, no happy memories at all. I smiled all day, trying not to show anyone that I am upset or anything, I see people cry, its seems so easy, yet I find it hard, really hard. Lessons are easy, thats the truth, honest, that I can't find any challenge to it, no challenge, means no interest. Yet, I have to force myself to find interest in it. I just want to cry...pour out all my sorrows into tears, but its too hard...
Don't ask me about this post, for I will never tell it out, what my troubles are, what I really want...

The Lights Went Out For Me,
The Darkness Starts to Surrounds Me.
I Seems To Have Lost My Way,
Along With The Familiar Day.

October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2009
November 2009

This is her blog. So please respect her privacy. If she crossed out certain words or phrases, it is only meant for her to be seen and not anyone else. But she tries not to do so. Rip all you want, if you are able to make that right click work. Spam all you want, if you don't mind your tags being deleted. After all, it's a free world. If you hate what you see, then click here.

Picture from deviantART
Brushes from Fractured Sanity
Designed by Designer

Girl called Mitchelle.
Born in 18 Sept, she was once a clementeen and now a JJcian. Once ♥2B12006 and 4D12008! in CTSS and now `09S14 in JJ. She ♥Soft Toys, Games & Chocolates. She detests noise, hypocrites & lies. Contact her through her Email.
visits

Wants:

Macbook Pro(13 inch)

Netbook

iPod touch

white newsboy cap

black newsboy cap

That Headset

Soft toys

Clothes

Bags

Shoes

Good grades

♥ 2B12006 4D12008! ♥ Story/words. Andria Beatrice Denise Estee Glenice Huiling Hwee Chin Jasvinder Jenny Jiayin Jingyi Jixiang Keiko Liangqian Mervyn Nicholas Lim Peiqi Quanmei Ruby Ruiqi Sara Shalini Sinyee Sulyanna Tricia Vanessa Xueer Yanni Yansze Yanwah Yen Ting Yilin